Assessment
C.A.R.E. Relationship Assessment
A 20-item assessment that measures four dimensions of relational connection: how Calm, Accepted, Resonant, and Energized you feel in your primary relationship. Based on relational-cultural theory, which treats the quality of connection, not individual pathology, as the central factor in psychological wellbeing.
Format
20 items, ~5 to 10 minutes
Privacy
Runs in your browser. No data stored on any server.
The four dimensions
Calm
Whether your nervous system feels regulated in the presence of your partner. Low Calm scores indicate that the relationship activates anxiety, hypervigilance, or a sense of walking on eggshells rather than providing safety.
Accepted
Whether you feel known and valued as you actually are, or whether you perform a version of yourself to maintain the relationship. Low Accepted scores suggest conditional regard: the sense that parts of you must stay hidden.
Resonant
Whether emotional communication flows in both directions. Can you share something painful and feel heard? Can your partner? Low Resonance means emotional bids go unanswered, creating a pattern of escalating disconnection.
Energized
Whether the relationship adds to your vitality or drains it. Healthy relationships generate energy; you leave interactions feeling more capable, not depleted. Low Energy scores suggest the relationship has become a net cost.
What your results mean
The C.A.R.E. produces a profile across all four dimensions. Most couples in distress show depletion in two or three areas, rarely all four at once. The specific pattern matters because it determines where therapy needs to start.
A relationship with low Calm but high Resonance looks very different from one with high Calm but low Resonance. The first suggests conflict dysregulation in a couple that still tries to connect. The second suggests emotional distance masked by surface-level peace. Treatment for each pattern diverges significantly.
Frequently asked questions
Can I take the C.A.R.E. on my own, or do both partners need to complete it?
Either partner can take it individually. The assessment measures your experience of the relationship, not objective relationship quality. When both partners complete it independently, the comparison between profiles is often the most clinically useful part.
What is relational-cultural theory?
RCT is a framework developed at the Jean Baker Miller Training Institute that views psychological health through the lens of connection rather than separation. It argues that growth happens through relationships, not apart from them, and that chronic disconnection is a primary source of suffering. The C.A.R.E. dimensions map directly to RCT's model of relational health.
Will my results be stored or shared?
No. The C.A.R.E. runs entirely in your browser. Nothing is sent to a server. Your results stay on your device unless you choose to share them.
What if my partner won't take the assessment?
Your individual profile is still valuable. It identifies which dimensions of connection you experience as depleted, which guides where therapy needs to focus. Many couples begin treatment with only one partner willing to engage, and that's a workable starting point.